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Kahlil
Gibran
The Forerunner
(1920)
http://nothingistic.org/library/gibran/forerunner/
Table of Contents
The Forerunner
God's Fool
Love
The King-hermit
The Lion's Daughter
Tyranny
The Saint
The Plutocrat
The Greater Self
War and the Small Nations
Critics
Poets
The Weather-cock
The King of Aradus
Out of My Deeper Heart
Dynasties
Knowledge and Half-knowledge
'Said a Sheet of Snow-White Paper...'
The Scholar and the Poet
Values
Other Seas
Repentance
The Dying Man and the Vulture
Beyond my Solitude
The Last Watch
The Forerunner
You are your
own forerunner, and the towers you have builded are but the foundation of your
giant-self. And that self too shall be a foundation.
And I too am my own forerunner, for the long shadow stretching before me at
sunrise shall gather under my feet at the noon hour. Yet another sunrise shall
lay another shadow before me, and that also shall be gathered at another noon.
Always have we been our own forerunners, and always shall we be. And all that
we have gathered and shall gather shall be but seeds for fields yet unploughed.
We are the fields and the ploughmen, the gatherers and the gathered.
When you were a wandering desire in the mist, I too was therem a wandering desire.
Then we sought one another, and out of our eagerness dreams were born. And dreams
were time limitless, and dreams were space without measure.
And when you were a silent word upon life's quivering lips, I too was there,
another silent word. Then life uttered us and we came down the years throbbing
with memories of yesterday and with longing for tomorrow, for yesterday was
death conquered and tomorrow was birth pursued.
And now we are in God's hands. You are a sun in His right hand and I an earth
in His left hand. Yet you are not more, shining, than I, shone upon.
And we, sun and earth, are but the beginning of a greater sun and a greater
earth. And always shall we be the beginning.
You are your
own forerunner, you the stranger passing by the gate of my garden.
And I too am my own forerunner, though I sit in the shadows of my trees and
seem motionless.
God's Fool
Once there came
from the desert to the great city of Sharia a man who was a dreamer, and he
had naught but his garment and staff.
And as he walked through the streets he gazed with awe and wonder at the temples
and towers and palaces, for the city of Sharia was of surpassing beauty. And
he spoke often to the passers-by, questioning them about their city - but they
understood not his language, nor he their language.
At the noon hour he stopped before a vast inn. It was built of yellow marble,
and people were going in and coming out unhindered.
This must be a shrine, he said to himself, and he too went in. But
what was his surprise to find himself in a hall of great splendour and a large
company of men and women seated about many tables. They were eating and drinking
and listening to the musicians.
Nay, said the dreamer. This is no worshipping. It must be
a feast given by the prince to the people, in celebration of a great event.
At that moment a man, whom he took to be the slave of the prince, approached
him, and bade him be seated. And he was served with meat and wine and most excellent
sweets.
When he was satisfied, the dreamer rose to depart. At the door he was stopped
by a large man magnificently arrayed.
Surely this is the prince himself, said the dreamer in his heart,
and he bowed to him and thanked him.
Then the large man said in the language of the city:
Sir, you have not paid for your dinner. And the dreamer did not
understand, and again thanked him heartily. Then the large man bethought him,
and he looked more closely upon the dreamer. And he saw that he was a stranger,
clad in but a poor garment, and that indeed he had not wherewith to pay for
his meal. Then the large man clapped his hands and called - and there came four
watchmen of the city. And they listened to the large man. Then they took the
dreamer between them, and they were two on each side of him. And the dreamer
noted the ceremoniousness of their dress and of their manner and he looked upon
them with delight. These, said he, are men of distinction.
And they walked all together until they came to the House of Judgement and they
entered.
The dreamer saw beofre him, seated upon a throne, a venerable man with flowing
beard, robed majestically. And he thought he was the king. And he rejoiced to
be brought before him.
Now the watchmen related to the judge, who was the venerable man, the charge
against the dreamer, and the judge appointed two advocates, one to present the
charge and the other to defend the stranger. And the advocates rose, the one
after the other, and delivered each his argument. And the dreamer thought himself
to be listening to addresses of welcome, and his heart filled with gratitude
to the king and the prince for all that was done for him.
Then sentence was passed upon the dreamer, that upon a tablet about his neck
his crime should be written, and that he should ride through the city on a naked
horse, with a trumpeter and a drummer before him. And the sentence was carried
out forthwith.
Now as the dreamer rode through the city upon the naked horse, with the trumpeter
and the drummer before him, the inhabitants of the city came running forth at
the sound of the noise, and when they saw him they laughed one and all, and
the children ran after him in companies from street to street. And the dreamers
heart was filled with ecstasy, and his eyes shone upon them. For to him the
tablet was a sign of the kings blessing and the procession was in his
honour.
Now as he rode, he saw among the crowd a man who was from the desert like himself
and his heart swelled with joy, and he cried out to him with a shout:
Friend! Friend! Where are we? What city of the hearts desire is
this? What race of lavish hosts, who feast the chance guest in their palaces,
whose princes companion him, whose kings hangs a token upon his breast and opens
to him the hospitality of a city descended from heaven?
And he who was also of the desert replied not. He only smiled and slightly shook
his head. And the procession passed on.
And the dreamers face was uplifted and his eyes were overflowing with
light.
Love
They say the
jackal and the mole
Drink from the selfsame stream
Where the lion comes to drink.
And they say
the eagle and the vulture
Dig their beaks into the same carcass,
And are at peace, one with the other,
In the presence of the dead thing.
O love, whose
lordly hand
Has bridled my desires,
And raised my hunger and my thirst
To dignity and pride,
Let not the strong in me and the constant
Eat the bread or drink the wine
That tempt my weaker self.
Let me rather starve,
And let my hearrt parch with thirst,
And let me die and perish,
Ere I stretch my hand
To a cup you did not fill,
Or a bowl you did not bless.
The King-Hermit
They told me
that in a forest among the mountains lives a young man in solitude who once
was a king of a vast country beyond the Two Rivers. And they also said that
he, of his own will, had left his throne and the land of his glory and come
to dwell in the wilderness.
And I said, "I would seek that man, and learn the secret of his heart;
for he who renounces a kingdom must needs be greater than a kingdom."
On that very day I went to the forest where he dwells. And I found him sitting
under a white cypress, and in his hand a reed as if it were a sceptre. And I
greeted him even as I would greet a king. And he turned to me and said gently,
"What would you in this forest of serenity? Seek you a lost self in the
green shadows, or is it a home-coming in your twilight?"
And I answered, "I sought but you -- for I fain would know that which made
you leave a kingdom for a forest."
And he said, "Brief is my story, for sudden was the bursting of the bubble.
It happened thus: one day as I sat at a window in my palace, my chamberlain
and an envoy from a foreign land were walking in my garden. And as they approached
my window, the lord chamberlain was speaking of himself and saying, 'I am like
the king; I have a thirst for strong wine and a hunger for all games of chance.
And like my lord the king I have storms of temper.' And the lord chamberlain
and the envoy disappeared among the trees. But in a few minutes they returned,
and this time the lord chamberlain was speaking of me, and he was saying, 'My
lord the king is like myself -- a good marksman; and like me he loves music
and bathes thrice a day.' "
After a moment he added, "On the eve of that day I left my palace with
but my garment, for I would no longer be ruler over those who assume my vices
and attribute to me their virtues."
And I said, "This is indeed a wonder, and passing strange."
And he said, "Nay, my friend, you knocked at the gate of my silences and
received but a trifle. For who would not leave a kingdom for a forest where
the seasons sing and dance ceaselessly? Many are those who have given their
kingdom for less than solitude and the sweet fellowship of aloneness. Countless
are the eagles who descend from the upper air to live with moles that they may
know the secrets of the earth. There are those who renounce the kingdom of dreams
that they may not seem distant from the dreamless. And those who renounce the
kingdom of nakedness and cover their souls that others may not be ashamed in
beholding truth uncovered and beauty unveiled. And greater yet than all of these
is he who renounces the kingdom of sorrow that he may not seem proud and vainglorious."
Then rising he leaned upon his reed and said, "Go now to the great city
and sit at its gate and watch all those who enter into it and those who go out.
And see that you find him who, though born a king, is without kingdom; and him
who though ruled in flesh rules in spirit -- though neither he nor his subjects
know this; abd him also who but seems to rule yet is in truth slave of his own
slaves."
After he had said these things he smiled on me, and there were a thousand dawns
upon his lips. Then he turned and walked away into the heart of the forest.
And I returned to the city, and I sat at its gate to watch the passers-by even
as he had told me. And from that day to this numberless are the kings whose
shadows have passed over me and few are the subjects over whom my shadow passed.
The Lion's Daughter
Four slaves
stood fanning an old queen who was asleep upon her throne. And she was snoring.
And upon the queen's lap a cat lay purring and gazing lazily at the slaves.
The first slave spoke, and said, "How ugly this old woman is in her sleep.
See her mouth droop; and she breathes as if the devil were choking her."
Then the cat said, purring, "Not half so ugly in her sleep as you in your
waking slavery."
And the second slave said, "You would think sleep would smooth her wrinkles
instead of deepening them. She must be dreaming of something evil."
And the cat purred, "Would that you might sleep also and dream of your
freedom."
And the third slave said, "Perhaps she is seeing the procession of all
those that she has slain."
And the cat purred, "Aye, she sees the procession of your forefathers and
your descendants."
And the fourth slave said, "It is all very well to talk about her, but
it does not make me less weary of standing and fanning."
And the cat purred, "You shall be fanning to all eternity; for as it is
on earth, so it is in heaven."
At this moment the old queen nodded in her sleep, and her crown fell to the
floor.
And one of the slaves said, "That is a bad omen."
And the cat purred, "The bad omen of one is the good omen of another."
And the second slave said, "What if she should wake, and find her crown
fallen! She would surely slay us."
And the cat purred, "Daily from your birth she has slain you and you know
it not."
And the third slave said, "Yes, she would slay us and she would call it
making a sacrifice to the gods."
And the cat purred, "Only the weak are sacrificed to the gods."
And the fourth slave silenced the others, and softly he picked up the crown
and replaced it, without waking her, on the old queen's head.
And the cat purred, "Only a slave restores a crown that has fallen."
And after a while the old queen woke, and she looked about her and yawned. Then
she said, "Methought I dreamed, and I saw four caterpillars chased by a
scorpion around the trunk of an ancient oak tree. I like not my dream."
Then she closed her eyes and went to sleep again. And she snored. And the four
slaves went on fanning her.
And the cat purred, "Fan on, fan on, stupids. You fan but the fire that
consumes you."
Tyranny
Thus sings the
she-dragon that guards the seven caves by the sea:
"My mate shall come riding on the waves. His thundering roar shall fill
the earth with fear, and the flames of his nostrils shall set the sky afire.
At the eclipse of the moon we shall be wedded, and at the eclipse of the sun
I shall give birth to a Saint George, who shall slay me."
Thus sings the she-dragon that guards the seven caves by the sea.
The Saint
In my youth
I once visited a saint in his silent grove beyond the hills; and as we were
conversing upon the nature of virtue a brigand came limping wearily up the ridge.
When he reached the grove he knelt down before the saint and said, "O saint,
I would be comforted! My sins are heavy upon me."
And the saint replied, "My sins, too, are heavy upon me."
And the brigand said, "But I am a thief and a plunderer."
And the saint replied, "I too am a thief and a plunderer."
And the brigand said, "But I am a murderer, and the blood of many men cries
in my ears."
And the saint replied, " I am a murderer, and in my ears cries the blood
of many men."
And the brigand said, "I have committed countless crimes."
And the saint replied, "I too have committed crimes without number."
Then the brigand stood up and gazed at the saint, and there was a strange look
in his eyes. And when he left us he went skipping down the hill.
And I turned to the saint and said, "Wherefore did you accuse yourself
of uncommitted crimes? See you not this man went away no longer believing in
you?"
And the saint answered, "It is true he no longer believes in me. But he
went away much comforted."
At that moment we heard the brigand singing in the distance, and the echo of
his song filled the valley with gladness.
The Plutocrat
In my wanderings
I once saw upon an island a man-headed, iron-hoofed monster who ate of the earth
and drank of the sea incessantly. And for a long while I watched him. Then I
approached him and said, "Have you never enough; is your hunger never satisfied
and your thirst never quenched?"
And he answered saying, "Yes, I am satisfied, nay, I am weary of eating
and drinking; but I am afraid that tomorrow there will be no more earth to eat
and no more sea to drink."
The Greater Self
This came to
pass. After the coronation of Nufsibaal King of Byblus, he retired to his bed-chamber
-- the very room which the three hermit-magicians of the mountains had built
for him. He took off his crown and his royal raiment, and stood in the centre
of the room thinking of himself, now the all-powerful ruler of Byblus.
Suddenly he turned; and he saw stepping out of the silver mirror which his mother
had given him, a naked man.
The king was startled, and he cried out to the man, "What would you?"
And the naked man answered, "Naught but this: Why have they crowned you
king?"
And the king answered, "Because I am the noblest man in the land."
Then the naked man said, "If you were still more noble, you would not be
king."
And the king said, "Because I am the mightiest man in the land they crowned
me."
And the naked man said, "If you were mightier yet, you would not be king."
Then the king said, "Because I am the wisest man they crowned me king."
And the naked man said, "If you were still wiser you would not choose to
be king."
Then the king fell to the floor and wept bitterly.
The naked man looked down upon him. Then he took up the crown and with tenderness
replaced it upon the king's bent head.
And the naked man, gazing lovingly upon the king, entered into the mirror.
And the king roused, and straightway he looked into the mirror. And he saw there
but himself crowned.
War And The Small Nations
Once, high above
a pasture, where a sheep and a lamb were grazing, an eagle was circling and
gazing hungrily down upon the lamb. And as he was about to descend and seize
his prey, another eagle appeared and hovered above the sheep and her young with
the same hungry intent. Then the two rivals began to fight, filling the sky
with their fierce cries.
The sheep looked up and was much astonished. She turned to the lamb and said:
"How strange, my child, that these two noble birds should attack one another.
Is not the vast sky large enough for both of them? Pray, my little one, pray
in your heart that God may make peace between your winged brothers."
And the lamb prayed in his heart.
Critics
One nightfall
a man travelling onn horseback towards the sea reached an inn by the roadside.
He dismounted and, confident in man and night like all riders towards the sea,
he tied his horse to a tree beside the door and entered into the inn.
At midnight, when all were asleep, a thief came and stole the traveller's horse.
In the morning the man awoke, and discovered that his horse was stolen. And
he grieved for his horse, and that a man had found it in his heart to steal.
Then his fellow lodgers came and stood around him and began to talk.
And the first man said, "How foolish of you to tie your horse outside the
stable."
And the second said, " Still more foolish, without even hobbling the horse!"
And the third man said, "It is stupid at best to travel to the sea on horseback."
And the fourth said, "Only the indolent and the slow of foot own horses."
Then the traveller was much astonished. At last he cried, "My friends,
because my horse was stolen, you have hastened one and all to tell me my faults
and my shortcomings. But strange, not one word of reproach have you uttered
about the man who stole my horse."
Poets
Four poets were
sitting around a bowl of punch that stood on a table.
Said the first poet, "Methinks I see with my third eye the fragrance of
this wine hovering in space like a cloud of birds in an enchanted forest."
The second poet raised his head and said, "With my inner ear I can hear
those mist-birds singing. And the melody holds my heart as the white rose imprisons
the bee within her petals."
The third poet closed his eyes and stretched his arm upwards, and said, "I
touch them with my hand. I feel their wings, like the breath of a sleeping fairy,
brushing against my fingers."
Then the fourth poet rose and lifted up the bowl, and he said, "Alas, friends!
I am too dull of sight and of hearing and of touch. I cannot see the fragrance
of this wine, nor hear its song, nor feel the beating of its wings. I perceive
but the wine itself. Now therefore must I drink it, that it may sharpen my senses
and raise me to your blissful heights."
And putting the bowl to his lips, he drank the punch to the very last drop.
The three poets, with their mouths open, looked at him aghast, and there was
a thirsty yet unlyrical hatred in their eyes.
The Weather-Cock
Said the weather-cock
to the wind, "How tedious and monotonous you are! Can you not blow any
other way but in my face? You disturb my God-given stability."
And the wind did not answer. It only laughed in space.
The King of Aradus
Once the elders
of the city of Aradus presented themselves before the king, and besought of
him a decree to forbid to men all wine and all intoxicants within their city.
And the king turned his back upon them and went out from them laughing.
Then the elders departed in dismay.
At the door of the palace they met the lord chamberlain. And the lord chamberlain
observed that they were troubled, and he understood their case.
Then he said, "Pity, my friends! Had you found the king drunk, surely he
would have granted you your petition."
Out Of My Deeper Heart
Out of my deeper
heart a bird rose and flew skywards.
Higher and higher did it rise, yet larger and larger did it grow.
At first it was but like a swallow, then a lark, then an eagle, then as vast
as a spring cloud, and then it filled the starry heavens.
Out of my heart a bird flew skywards. And it waxed larger as it flew. Yet it
left not my heart.
O my faith,
my untamed knowledge, how shall I fly to your height and see with you man's
larger self pencilled upon the sky?
How shall I turn this sea within me into mist, and move with you in space immeasurable?
How can a prisoner within the temple behold its golden domes?
How shall the heart of a fruit be stretched to envelop the fruit also?
O my faith, I am in chains behind these bars of silver and ebony, and I cannot
fly with you.
Yet out of my heart you rise skyward, and it is my heart that holds you, and
I shall be content.
Dynasties
The queen of
Ishana was in travail of childbirth; and the king and the mighty men of his
court were waiting in breathless anxiety in the great hall of the Winged Bulls.
At eventide there came suddenly a messenger in haste and prostrated himself
before the king, and said, "I bring glad tidings unto my lord the king,
and unto the kingdom and the slaves of the king. Mihrab the Cruel, thy life-long
enemy, the king of Bethroun, is dead."
When the king and the mighty men heard this, they all rose and shouted for joy;
for the powerful Mihrab, had he lived longer, had assuredly overcome Ishana
and carried the inhabitants captive.
At this moment the court physician also entered the hall of Winged Bulls, and
behind him came the royal midwives. And the physician prostrated himself before
the king, and said, "My lord the king shall live for ever, and through
countless generations shall he rule over the people of Ishana. For unto thee,
O King, is born this very hour a son, who shall be thy heir."
Then indeed was the soul of the king intoxicated with joy, that in the same
moment his foe was dead and the royal line was established.
Now in the city of Ishana lived a true prophet. And the prophet was young, and
bold of spirit. And the king that very night ordered that the prophet should
be brought before him. And when he was brought, the king said unto him, "Prophesy
now, and foretell what shall be the future of my son who is this day born unto
the kingdom."
And the prophet hesitated not, but said, "Hearken, O King, and I will indeed
prophesy of the future of thy son that is this day born. The soul of thy enemy,
even of thy enemy King Mihrab, who died yester-eve, lingered but a day upon
the wind. Then it sought for itself a body to enter into. And that which it
entered into was the body of thy son that is born unto thee this hour."
Then the king was enraged, and with his sword he slew the prophet.
And from that day to this, the wise men of Ishana say one to another secretly,
"Is it not known, and has it not been said from of old, that Ishana is
ruled by an enemy?"
Knowledge and Half-Knowledge
Four frogs sat
upon a log that lay floating on the edge of a river. Suddenly the log was caught
by the current and swept slowly down the stream. The frogs were delighted and
absorbed, for never before had they sailed.
At length the first frog spoke, and said, "This is indeed a most marvellous
log. It moves as if alive. No such log was ever known before."
Then the second frog spoke, and said, "Nay, my friend, the log is like
other logs, and does not move. It is the river that is walking to the sea, and
carries us and the log with it."
And the third frog spoke, and said, "It is neither the log nor the river
that moves. The moving is in our thinking. For without thought nothing moves."
And the three frogs began to wrangle about what was really moving. The quarrel
grew hotter and louder, but they could not agree.
Then they turned to the fourth frog, who up to this time had been listening
attentively but holding his peace, and they asked his opinion.
And the fourth frog said, "Each of you is right, and none of you is wrong.
The moving is in the log and the water and our thinking also."
And the three frogs became very angry, for none of them was willing to admit
that his was not the whole truth, and that the other two were not wholly wrong.
Then a strange thing happened. The three frogs got together and pushed the fourth
frog off the log into the river.
"Said A Sheet Of Snow-White Paper..."
Said a sheet
of snow-white paper, "Pure was I created, and pure will I remain for ever.
I would rather be burnt and turn to white ashes than suffer darkness to touch
me or the unclean to come near me."
The ink-bottle heard what the paper was saying, and it laughed in its dark heart;
but it never dared to approach her. And the multicoloured pencils heard her
also, and they too never came near her.
And the snow-white sheet of paper did remain pure and chaste for ever, pure
and chaste -- and empty.
The Scholar And The Poet
Said the serpent
to the lark, "Thou flyest, yet thou canst not visit the recesses of the
earth where the sap of life moveth in perfect silence."
And the lark answered, "Aye, thou knowest over much, nay thou art wiser
then all things wise -- pity thou canst not fly."
And as if he did not hear, the serpent said, "Thou canst not see the secrets
of the deep, nor move among the treasures of the hidden empire. It was but yesterday
I lay in a cave of rubies. It is like the heart of a ripe pomegranate, and the
faintest ray of light turns into a flame-rose. Who but me can behold such marvels?"
And the lark said, "None, none but thee can lie among the crystal memories
of the cycles -- pity thou canst not sing."
And the serpent said, "I know a plant whose root descends to the bowels
of the earth, and he who eats of that root becomes fairer than Ashtarte."
And the lark said, "No one, no one but thee could inveil the magic thought
of the earth -- pity thou canst not fly."
And the serpent said, "There is a purple stream that runneth under a mountain,
and he who drinketh of it shall become immortal even as the gods. Surely no
bird or beast can discover that purple stream."
And the lark answered, "If thou willest thou canst become deathless even
as the gods -- pity thou canst not sing."
And the serpent said, "I know a buried temple, which I visit once a moon.
It was built by a forgotten race of giants, and upon its walls are graven the
secrets of time and space, and he who reads them shall understand that which
passeth all understanding."
And the lark said, "Verily, if thou so desirest thou canst encircle with
thy pliant body all knowledge of time and space -- pity thou canst not fly."
Then the serpent was disgusted, and as he turned and entered into his hole he
muttered, "Empty-headed songster!"
And the lark flew away singing, "Pity thou canst not sing. Pity, pity,
my wise one, thou canst not fly."
Values
Once a man unearthed
in his field a marble statue of great beauty. And he took it to a collector
who loved all beautiful things and offered it to him for sale, and the collector
bought it for a large price. And they parted.
And as the man walked home with his money he thought, and he said to himself,
"How much life this money means! How can anyone give all this for a dead
carved stone buried and undreamed of in the earth for a thousand years?"
And now the collector was looking at his statue, and he was thinking, and he
said to himself, "What beauty! What life! The dream of what a soul! --
and fresh with the sweet sleep of a thousand years. How can anyone give all
this for money, dead and dreamless?"
Other Seas
A fish said
to another fish, "Above this sea of ours there is another sea, with creatures
swimmming in it -- and they live there even as we live here."
The fish replied, "Pure fancy! Pure fancy! When you know that everything
that leaves our sea by even an inch, and stays out of it, dies. What proof have
you of other lives in other seas?"
Repentance
On a moonless
night a man entered into his neighbour's garden and stole the largest melon
he could find and brought it home.
He opened it and found it still unripe.
Then behold a marvel!
The man's conscience woke and smote him with remorse; and he repented having
stolen the melon.
The Dying Man And The Vulture
Wait, wait yet
awhile, my eager friend.
I shall yield but too soon this wasted thing,
Whose agony overwrought and useless
Exhausts your patience.
I would not have your honest hunger
Wait upon these moments:
But this chain, though made of breath,
Is hard to break.
And the will to die,
Stronger than all things strong,
Is stayed by a will to live
Feebler than all things feeble.
Forgive me, comrade; I tarry too long.
It is memory that holds my spirit;
A procession of distant days,
A vision of youth spent in a dream,
A face that bids my eyelids not to sleep,
A voice that lingers in my ears,
A hand that touches my hand.
Forgive me that you have waited too long.
It is over now, and all is faded:
The face, the voice, the hand and the mist that brought them hither.
The knot is untied.
The cord is cleaved.
And that which is neither food nor drink is withdrawn.
Approach, my hungry comrade;
The board is made ready.
And the fare, frugal and spare,
Is given with love.
Come, and dig your beak here, into the left side,
And tear out of its cage this smaller bird,
Whose wings can beat no more:
I would have it soar with you into the sky.
Come now, my friend, I am your host tonight,
And you my welcome guest.
Beyond My Solitude
Beyond my solitude
is another solitude, and to him who dwells therein my aloneness is a crowded
market-place and my silence a confusion of sounds.
Too young am I and too restless to seek that above-solitude. The voices of yonder
valley still hold my ears and its shadows bar my way and I cannot go.
Beyond these hills is a grove of enchantment and to him who dwells therein my
peace is but a whirlwind and my enchantment an illusion.
Too young am I and too riotous to seek that sacred grove. The taste of blood
is clinging in my mouth, and the bow and the arrows of my fathers yet linger
in my hand and I cannot go.
Beyond this burdened self lives my freer self; and to him my dreams are a battle
fought in twilight and my desires the rattling of bones.
Too young am I and too outraged to be my freer self.
And how shall I become my freer self unless I slay my burdened selves, or unless
all men become free?
How shall the eagle in me soar against the sun until my fledglings leave the
nest which I with my own beak have built for them?
The Last Watch
At high tide
of night, when the first breath of dawn came upon the wind, the forerunner,
he who calls himself echo to a voice yet unheard, left his bed-chamber and ascended
to the roof of his house. Long he stood and looked down upon the slumbering
city. Then he raised his head, and even as if the sleepless spirits of all those
asleep had gathered around him, he opened his lips and spoke, and he said:
"My friends and neighbors and you who daily pass my gate, I would speak
to you in your sleep, and in the valley of your dreams I would walk naked and
unrestrained; for heedless are your waking hours and deaf are your sound-burdened
ears.
"Long did I love you and overmuch.
"I love the one among you as though he were all, and all as if you were
one. And in the spring of my heart I sang in your gardens, and in the summer
of my heart I watched at your threshing-floors.
"Yea, I loved you all, the giant and the pygmy, the leper and the anointed,
and him who gropes in the dark even as him who dances his days upon the mountains.
"You, the strong, have I loved, though the marks of your iron hoofs are
yet upon my flesh; and you the weak, though you have drained my faith and wasted
my patience.
"You the rich have I loved, while bitter was your honey to my mouth; and
you the poor, though you knew my empty-handed shame.
"You the poet with the bowed lute and blind fingers, you have I loved in
self-indulgence; and you the scholar ever gathering rotted shrouds in potters'
fields.
"You the priest I have loved, who sit in the silences of yesterday questioning
the fate of my tomorrow; and you the worshippers of gods the images of your
own desires.
"You the thirsting woman whose cup is ever full, I have loved in understanding;
and you the woman of restless nights, you too I have loved in pity.
"You the talkative have I loved, saying, 'Life hath much to say'; and you
the dumb have I loved, whispering to myself, 'Says he not in silence that which
I fain would hear in words?"
"And you the judge and the critic, I have loved also; yet when you have
seen me crucified, you said, 'He bleeds rhythmically, and the pattern his blood
makes upon his white skin is beautiful to behold.'
"Yea, I have loved you all, the young and the old, the trembling reed and
the oak.
"But, alas, it was the over-abundance of my heart that turned you from
me. You would drink love from a cup, but not from a surging river. You would
hear love's faint murmur, but when love shouts you would muffle your ears.
"And because I have loved you all you have said, 'Too soft and yielding
is his heart, and too undiscerning is his path. It is the love of a needy one,
who picks crumbs even as he sits at kingly feasts. And it is the love of a weakling,
for the strong loves only the strong."
"And because I have loved you overmuch you have said, 'It is but the love
of a blind man who knows not the beauty of one nor the ugliness of another.
And it is the love of the tasteless who drinks vinegar even as wine. And it
is the love of the impertinent and the overweening, for what stranger could
be our mother and father and sister and brother?'
"This you have said, and more. For often in the market-place you pointed
your fingers at me and said mockingly, 'There goes the ageless one, the man
without seasons, who at the noon hour plays games with our children and at eventide
sits with our elders and assumes wisdom and understanding.'
"And I said, 'I will love them more. Aye, even more. I will hide my love
with seeming to hate, and disguise my tenderness as bitterness. I will wear
an iron mask, and only when armed and mailed shall I seek them.'
"Then I laid a heavy hand upon your bruises, and like a tempest in the
night I thundered in your ears.
"From the housetop I proclaimed you hypocrites, Pharisees, tricksters,
false and empty earth-bubbles.
"The short-sighted among you I cursed for blind bats, and those too near
the earth I likened to soulless moles.
"The eloquent I pronounced fork-tongued, the silent, stone-lipped, and
the simple and artless I called the dead never weary of death.
"The seekers after world knowledge I condemned as offenders of the holy
spirit and those who would naught but the spirit I branded as hunters of shadows
who cast their nets in flat waters and catch but their own images.
"Thus with my lips have I denounced you, while my heart, bleeding within
me, called you tender names.
"It was love lashed by its own self that spoke. It was pride half slain
that fluttered in the dust. It was my hunger for your love that raged from the
housetop, while my own love, kneeling in silence, prayed your forgiveness.
"But behold a miracle!
"It was my disguise that opened your eyes, and my seeming to hate that
woke your hearts.
"And now you love me.
"You love the swords that stroke you and the arrows that crave your breast.
For it comforts you to be wounded and only when you drink of your own blood
can you be intoxicated.
"Like moths that seek destruction in the flame you gather daily in my garden;
and with faces uplifted and eyes enchanted you watch me tear the fabric of your
days. And in whispers you say the one to the other, 'He sees with the light
of God. He speaks like the prophets of old. He unveils our souls and unlocks
our hearts, and like the eagle that knows the way of foxes he knows our ways.'
"Aye, in truth, I know your ways, but only as an eagle knows the ways of
his fledglings. And I fain would disclose my secret. Yet in my need for your
nearness I feign remoteness, and in fear of the ebb tide of your love I guard
the floodgates of my love."
After saying these things the forerunner covered his face with his hands and
wept bitterly. For he knew in his heart that love humiliated in its nakedness
is greater than love that seeks triumph in disguise; and he was ashamed.
But suddenly he raised his head, and like one waking from sleep he outstretched
his arms and said, "Night is over, and we children of night must die when
dawn comes leaping upon the hills; and out of our ashes a mightier love shall
rise. And it shall laugh in the sun, and it shall be deathless."